There is a war inside of me which I must fight everyday. This battle is not with a person over what they might think or say.
It is between the spirit and my flesh and how I maintain.
We all have addictions/habits to something or another and one sin is not bigger than the other.
But I know that if I venture through this particular door my peace with God will be interrupted like never before.
I know my hedge of protection will be lifted and I will become prey to the one who seeks to have me.
I know my spirit will be sifted as wheat and I will lay in ruin because out of disobedience I would have caused my own defeat.
So therefore I refrain from the urge that my flesh may want to go after. I must train my spirit to pant for the living water.
I renew my mind through the Word of God to think on good and lovely things from above.
I cherish this peace and do not wish to have any interruptions.
I must remember the vision that God showed me if I choose the wrong thing to do.
Why would I want to sacrifice so much for something which brings diversion?
Why would I gamble with the thought of spiritual destruction?
Maybe this counsel will alert someone because it is a reminder to me. It has become my rule of thumb to not do what I please.
The wages of sin is death and I know this without a shadow of doubt. I’ve stepped out of God’s grace before and my reward was a spiritual drought.
His presence I did not feel nor did I feel worthy of His mercy as I lay down at night.
I just cried and held my pillow tight. I knew God was there but my spirit wasn’t right.
When I know to do right and I don’t do it, it is a sin unto me, especially if God has warned against such things.
So the blame lies within me and I MUST take responsibility.
Therefore I gain reverence for the Lord that blew life into me knowing my praise should be guilt free. I must repent and raise my hands surrendering.
Will I sin again?
Lord only you know before the day is through what I will and will not do.
But my prayer is to stay in your Will and to adhere to your warnings and be obedient unto you.
To sin in this flesh I’m learning it’s just not worth it for the peace which passes my understanding I do not want interrupted.
“For I know that in me, that is, in my flesh, dwelleth no good thing; for to will is present with me; but to perform that which is good I find not, only in Christ.” – Rom, 7-19.
